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Marléne Rose Shaw

More Confidence | Happier Relationships

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Overcoming Anxiety: 3 Reasons You Can’t Stop Worrying and What To Do About It

Worry – it’s something we all do from time to time. Sometimes we have good reason to worry; for example, if we‘re concerned about our finances, or anxious about a job interview, or we’ve fallen out with a friend. There can be lots of life events that cause us to fret, and thankfully we now have self-help tools such as Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) which work wonders in reducing stress, rapidly.

However, there’s another type of worry. A sort of worry that becomes a habit. Not only is it a habit, but those things we worry about are mostly illogical. When we have this habit, we tend to follow a pattern:

Worry – Reassure – Seek out another thing to worry about

I call this Obsessive-Compulsive Worry(OCW).

Just as a person with OCD may need to reassure themselves by checking and repeating behaviours, so we follow a similar pattern with Obsessive-Compulsive Worrying.

You see, it’s not the actual things we’re worried about that are the cause of our distress: it’s the underlying fear itself.

How People Get Into The Habit Of Obsessive Compulsive Worrying

There are three very logical, yet deeply subconscious, reasons we get into the habit of Obsessive-Compulsive Worry:

1. Observing Others

The first reason is that once upon a time, in our early childhood, we learnt that worrying was a normal way for people to think and feel. We did this through observing caregivers – perhaps anxious parents who were never fully relaxed and confident.

2. Believing We Don’t Deserve to be Happy

The second reason is because we hold a limiting belief, again often learnt in childhood, that we don’t deserve to be happy. This means that every time life feels good, we seek out something wrong (and remember this is deeply subconscious) in order to validate the belief that happiness isn't for us.

3. Keeping Our Guard Up

Somewhere along the line we’ve had experiences that have made us mistrust happiness. We’re afraid to let our guard down because if something bad happens, we won’t be prepared for it.

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The third reason is because somewhere along the line we’ve had a series of small traumas, or one big trauma (again often in childhood), that have made us mistrust happiness. We’re afraid to let our guard down because if something bad happens, we won’t be prepared for it. Deep down we figure that it’s far easier to choose unhappiness, rather than have a shock—at least that way we'll feel more in control.

You’ll have noted that each of these has its roots in limiting beliefs – and the wonderful thing is that with modern day Energy Psychologies such as EFT we can access the subconscious and weed out these unhelpful beliefs.

Building Trust

Along with letting go of the limiting ideas that have been causing your worry, there's another great way to help yourself. It’s a subject I often introduce in my sessions with clients. It’s simply learning to love yourself.

You see when you love yourself, you get to step back from those limiting beliefs. Love flows into your life and replaces your constant worrying—with happiness and well-being.

Loving yourself means that you start to feel very secure, very strong and very confident. It means that you can relax and trust in providing your own happiness; and if something comes along to upset that – well, you know you’ll handle it.

You can love yourself through specific practices of self-kindness, self-acceptance, and self-worth.

Do You Want Weekly Tips from the Therapy Room for more Confidence and Happier Relationships?

Just tell me where to send them

Marléne - I look forward to receiving your email each week - it has been a great help JD
Marléne Rose Shaw
5
2020-01-18T10:05:49+00:00
Marléne - I look forward to receiving your email each week - it has been a great help JD
https://marleneroseshaw.com/testimonials/18589/

Your emails are always helpful and always inspiring, encouraging me to stop, look and listen to myself SH
Marléne Rose Shaw
5
2020-01-18T10:11:57+00:00
Your emails are always helpful and always inspiring, encouraging me to stop, look and listen to myself SH
https://marleneroseshaw.com/testimonials/18594/

Marléne - I look forward to receiving your email each week - it has been a great help JD
Marléne Rose Shaw
5
2020-01-18T10:08:00+00:00
Marléne - I look forward to receiving your email each week - it has been a great help JD
https://marleneroseshaw.com/testimonials/18591/

Thank you very much for your support. Your book and your words have been of help in figuring out my own voice and learning to listen to it. CO
Marléne Rose Shaw
5
2020-01-18T10:09:59+00:00
Thank you very much for your support. Your book and your words have been of help in figuring out my own voice and learning to listen to it. CO
https://marleneroseshaw.com/testimonials/18592/

I don't quite know how you do it but you always seem to pop up in my inbox when needed.
Marléne Rose Shaw
5
2020-01-18T10:10:55+00:00
I don't quite know how you do it but you always seem to pop up in my inbox when needed.
https://marleneroseshaw.com/testimonials/18593/

Hi Marlene,
This was really good info for today. LJ
Marléne Rose Shaw
5
2020-01-18T10:19:11+00:00
Hi Marlene, This was really good info for today. LJ
https://marleneroseshaw.com/testimonials/18602/

Hi Marléne, I love these inspirational emails and want to thank you LA
Marléne Rose Shaw
5
2020-01-18T10:16:18+00:00
Hi Marléne, I love these inspirational emails and want to thank you LA
https://marleneroseshaw.com/testimonials/18601/

I love your positive emails you send out. Always very helpful and uplifting. Thank you! KH
Marléne Rose Shaw
5
2020-01-18T10:12:55+00:00
I love your positive emails you send out. Always very helpful and uplifting. Thank you! KH
https://marleneroseshaw.com/testimonials/18595/

Hi Marlene,
This was really good info for today. LJ
Marléne Rose Shaw
5
2020-01-18T10:04:38+00:00
Hi Marlene, This was really good info for today. LJ
https://marleneroseshaw.com/testimonials/18588/

Oh, perfect timing!! 🙂

Thank you for the mail out, it really helped me to re-connect with my own sense of power in my current situation.GR

Marléne Rose Shaw
5
2019-11-29T09:16:45+00:00
Oh, perfect timing!! 🙂 Thank you for the mail out, it really helped me to re-connect with my own sense of power in my current situation.GR
https://marleneroseshaw.com/testimonials/17576/
5
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Marléne Rose Shaw

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How Assertive Are You

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How Kind People Get Tough

How Kind People Get Tough

Based on more than 25 years helping clients gain confidence, happier relationships and more fulfilling lives.

5.0 out of 5 stars Absolutely fantastic read!

All I can say is this book has been one of the best in it`s field that I have ever read. It’s a modern day elite toolkit for surviving life. Very well done Marléne!

5.0 out of 5 stars I highly recommend this book.

I couldn't put this book down. The Author doesn't overwhelm you with too much information- each section is easy to understand and you are instilled with an understanding of the correct ways to become more assertive. I very soon noticed a difference in my own communications with others when I practised the given techniques, - I've loads to learn but the confidence obtained in trying is a huge boost. I'm eagerly looking forward to more insightful reading from Marléne Rose Shaw.

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5.0 out of 5 stars A powerful, life-changing book

What an amazing read this book is. The author has given those of us who struggle with confidence issues the tools to change our lives around and become the person we've always wanted to be. Thank you for your words of wisdom Marléne. I will always be grateful.

5.0 out of 5 stars A must read!!

I highly recommend this book. It's full of insight and case studies that are very relatable. Read this book to change your life for the better. It's a good book to dip back into as well. Well done to the author for another fabulous book.

5.0 out of 5 stars Layers of supportive writing and materials

Such a well written book with layers of support in the advice and case studies. so helpful for all kinds of relationships and communication. Marlene’s 2nd book is a must have for successful communication and outcomes in life. Thank you

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How Kind People Get Tough

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