To have a struggle mindset means we often approach life from the perspective of having to overcome hassles and burdens. We don't tend to notice the easier path, because we're so busy firefighting and proving to ourselves that we can manage and cope and be resilient.
And because we always take the harder path, we keep reinforcing the ingrained belief that life must be a struggle.
It's very common!
I have to confess this was me for a very long time, and over the years I've seen the same in so many of my clients; where fighting against the tide has become their normal way of life.
There's a good reason that we do this.
This ‘struggling on’ idea often starts very early in life. Many of us receive messages when we’re growing up that tell us it's not okay to take the easier path.
Things can happen in childhood that leaves a child believing that they have to be extra strong and rely on themselves.
Being overly resilient then becomes a sort of insurance. At some deep level they make the decision that if they can manage the hardest path in life then they can guarantee to manage anything - so they’ll be okay whatever comes their way.
That makes a lot of sense in those early years when there's no other way to manage life.
By adulthood though it becomes a self-sabotaging pattern because all that efforting and battling on just places us under stress. It basically puts us in a constant state of survival so there's no room left to be calm and allow creativity to flow.
So while we may think that striving and proving will make us more confident and successful in life, all we’re really doing is struggling unnecessarily.
Strange as this may sound though, struggling can become addictive because every time a problem comes up in life, the little child within can feel an excited anticipation that ‘here is a chance to prove I can cope with it!’
Maybe you relate to this? If so, you're certainly not alone!
You can begin to break the cycle by soothing that little child within. When hardships loom, give them kind and loving words. Reassure then that life has moved on and they no longer have to be extra strong. There's nothing to prove.
Then ask yourself one of the powerful questions from the book: 7 Questions Highly Confident People Ask themselves.
That question is simply: What would this look like if it were easier?
As you do so you’ll begin to relax, and inspired thinking and intuitive solutions will come to you.
That's what builds true confidence!
7 Questions Highly Confident People Ask Themselves
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