Relationships—this is where we can face our greatest challenges; they try us and reward us, they cause us stress, and they bring us comfort, each and every day of our lives. As I describe in my latest book Out Of Fear Into Love: Life doesn’t have to be a struggle our relationships are like a classroom. They provide a context for us to learn the wisdom lessons of life.
Its very often the interactions we have with each other that provide the greatest opportunity to learn and grow.
Our relationships are a window into the subconscious
Scientists have discovered that around 95% of our thoughts, feelings and behaviour is dictated by the information buried in the subconscious mind. That means we only have around 5% control over the reactions and choices we make!
The good news is that the problems that keep popping up in our relationships can provide us with a very helpful window into what’s going on in the subconscious.
Problems like:
- I find it hard to trust people
- People seem to walk all over me
- I always feel like I have to keep other people happy
- I feel I have to be strong and not show my feelings
- I don’t like asking for help
- I always seem to attract the wrong people into my life
- I push people away before they reject me
- I don’t know what the problem is but I keep falling out with people
These problems can provide useful insight. With the help of an experienced therapist, we can take a step back, look at these problems and identify the limiting beliefs that are behind them
Most of us have at least some limiting beliefs that get in the way of happy relationships. We form the majority of these beliefs in early childhood when we’re too young to understand how the world works. Those misguided ideas continue to live on in the subconscious, dictating how we think and behave in our relationships – until such time as we spot them, and do something about them.
Once we do that life improves very quickly.
How do I shift my beliefs to make my relationships better?
I draw on specific techniques according to your individual needs. These include Transactional Analysis, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) and Matrix Reimprinting, I combine these with my many years’ experience of traditional talk therapy. In this way, we can quickly identify the unhelpful ways of thinking and believing that are affecting your relationships, let those go, and begin building new more helpful ways of approaching relationships.
Your relationships will radically improve because you’ll be able to achieve things you couldn’t before such as:
- Setting clear boundaries without feeling guilty
- Find great ways to communicate your needs
- Start attracting the right people into your life
- Earn respect and be valued
- Feel super confident
- Learn how to love yourself (the foundation of all good relationships)
- Learn to trust and breathe easy
- Get support from others
I am also a qualified Couples Therapist if you’d like to have some sessions together with your partner, or even a friend or family member.
How to get in touch with me
I offer face-to-face counselling and therapy sessions in Mijas Costa, Malaga
I also offer online sessions across the Costa del Sol and worldwide via Skype or Zoom
To get in touch, give me a call on either
+34 602 489 656
+44 7429 440968
or fill out the form below. I look forward to hearing from you, and helping you.
Counselling and Therapy Costa del Sol
