How Kind People Get Tough is based on more than 25 years helping clients gain confidence, have happier relationships and more successful lives

Who is This Book For?

How Kind People Get Tough is for anyone who wants to :

  • Gain respect without coming across as arrogant or unkind
  • Say 'no' with confidence and without feeling guilty
  • Stop people-pleasing and feel confident in your own skin
  • Be heard instead of being accused of nagging and moaning
  • Set and maintain boundaries without fear of pushing people away
  • Know where you stand in your relationships
  • Find courage to speak up without fear of rejection

Many people struggle with confidence and relationships because they find it hard to find the balance between being kind and being assertive

They get taken for granted by their friends, family and colleagues because they’re giving out all the wrong signals.

They never get to experience deep and fulfilling relationships because they’re scared to show their true self.

They miss out on their own precious dreams because they’re so busy pleasing others.

They spend a lot of time feeling anxious, guilty or resentful.

Yet, it doesn't have to be this way. 

It is perfectly possible to lead an assertive life and be kind and considerate to others

5.0 out of 5 stars  

I highly recommend this book. It's full of insight and case studies that are very relatable. Read this book to change your life for the better. It's a good book to dip back into as well. Well done to the author for another fabulous book.

5.0 out of 5 stars  

All I can say is this book has been one of the best in it`s field that I have ever read. It`s a modern day elite toolkit for surviving life. Very well done Marléne!

5.0 out of 5 stars  

I couldn't put this book down. The author doesn't overwhelm you with too much information- each section is easy to understand and you are instilled with an understanding of the correct ways to become more assertive. I very soon noticed a difference in my own communications with others when I practised the given techniques, - I've loads to learn but the confidence obtained in trying is a huge boost. I'm eagerly looking forward to more insightful reading from Marléne Rose Shaw

5.0 out of 5 stars  

Such a well written book with layers of support in the advice and case studies. so helpful for all kinds of relationships and communication. Marlene’s 2nd book is a must have for successful communication and outcomes in life. Thank you

5.0 out of 5 stars  

What an amazing read this book is. The author has given those of us who struggle with confidence issues the tools to change our lives around and become the person we've always wanted to be. Thank you for your words of wisdom Marléne. I will always be grateful.

Inside the Book ...

Part One: Can Kind People Be Tough?

Who are the kind people? Is it really possible to remain kind, caring, and considerate and be assertive?

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Part Two: Why Do We Find It So Hard to Be Assertive?

There are fundamental reasons why most human beings struggle with assertiveness. Find out what these are, and how to overcome them.

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Part Three: An Intentional Life 

To change your life, you need a vision and a guide to help you. Learn how to simply and effectively create your own Intentional Life Plan

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Part Four: How Kind People Get Respect

Learn how to stop being taken for granted, and gain respect, be truly heard, acknowledged and valued - while still being kind and considerate.

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Part Five: How Kind People Speak Up

Learn how to to speak up, say No, express anger in healthy ways, and set limits that people will respect

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Part Six: How Kind People Get Great Relationships

Learn how to attract the right people into your life, stop giving in to people's demands and know where you stand

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Author Reviews

“A timely book with a timeless message, How Kind People Get Tough is more than just a blueprint for kinder living.  At its core, it also reminds us to stand firmly yet kindly within our power. Your heart and your relationships will be stronger after reading it.”

— Michael J. Chase, Bestselling Author & Founder of The Kindness Center

‘’ How Kind People Get Tough in short, is a life plan to live by—guiding the reader to be true to themselves and to learn how to be assertive.  

The beauty of the book is it offers a companion course so the reader can stay on track to living life consciously and making positive, healthy choices. The contents include assertive communication tools, tips and techniques for more positive and happier relationships.  

Be kind to yourself, build your confidence in saying yes to you and buy this book.  You’ll be glad you did.’’  

Wendy Fry ~ Author of Write from Your Heart

Marlene Rose Shaw's book "How Kind People get Tough" is a wonderful handbook for kind people who desire more confidence and relationships that feel good.

 She dispels the myth that kindness is a good thing and assertiveness is not, and helps us to understand clearly what is meant by each of those terms. As a sensitive person, I loved learning that assertiveness includes being authentic, focusing on love, and seeking a win-win outcome. Many sensitive introverts find it extremely difficult to set boundaries, be assertive, and put their own needs ahead of others'.  This book will be a game changer for them!

Liesel Teversham

She helps us recognize some reasons behind the reluctance to come across as mean or aggressive. Best of all, the book provides excellent, down to earth guidance and methods to gain respect, be heard, and create relationships that work.

The "Intentional life plan" in the book is a practical value-add that I can't wait to share with my clients! This is a fantastic book on a difficult topic. “

Liesel Teversham

More than just a book!

Your Free Online Companion Course

This book is more than just a book. It is a process for change. It incorporates practical tools and techniques which have been used to help thousands of people change their lives for the better.

It also contains a free online companion course to help you put the tools, tips, and techniques into practice in your own life and relationships.

Also includes your Intentional Life Plan

Your Intentional Life Plan will give you:

A very clear vision of what your new life will look like

A guide for how you’re going to make that happen easily and effectively, such as communication skills you will use and boundaries you will set

A reference point to refer to in challenging situations.

What makes this book different?

There are many great books on assertiveness skills, but they often don’t address the fears people have about coming across as unkind, arrogant or being rejected.

How Kind People Get Tough explores what true assertiveness is, and in understanding that, it becomes so much easier to speak up, ask for your needs to be met and set good boundaries.

PLUS, the free companion resources offer you practical guidance on putting the techniques in the book into practice in your every day relationships and life.

Hi, I'm Marléne Rose Shaw; therapist, coach and self-help author. Over the past 25 years, I’ve been privileged to help thousands of people.  

I love to teach people simple and actionable steps to help them make rapid shifts towards more confidence, overcoming anxiety and happier relationships.

I’m passionate about helping people overcome the blocks that have been keeping them stuck and unhappy, sometimes for decades, so that they are free to become the creators of their own destinies.