Here’s An Easy Way To Be Kinder To Yourself


'I know I could be kinder to myself  - but I'm not sure how to do that?'

This is what my clients often tell me when they've come to recognise the value of self-kindness.

Forgetting to be kind to ourselves is a common thing. We all do it to some extent. We can be much harder on ourselves than we need to be. And in turn this just makes life more difficult than it need be.

Think about it like this.

If you're always expecting life to be a struggle you'll probably keep missing simple solutions to problems; answers that are right there in front of you. It also means you may miss out on opportunities for support from others because you're so used to coping with everything by yourself.

It's okay to give yourself a break

Practicing a little self-kindness, however, means you give yourself a break; you take the easier path and you ask for help when you need it. Life improves in leaps and bounds! 

But while any of us can see that self-kindness is a great idea, if you're not used to living from this perspective it can seem perplexing to get started.


The following is an exercise from one of my books: Out Of Fear Into Love: Life doesn’t have to be a struggle

The 'Because I’m Being Kind' method

It's a powerful, yet very simple self-kindness method which I’ve used to help many people over the years. It's called ‘Because I’m Being Kind.’

This method involves focusing on the self-kindness you’re already practicing in your life. It’s a great way to be kinder to yourself because it takes away any apprehension about having to start something new, or ‘getting it right.’

You’re already doing it and you’ve already been getting it right—all you need to do now is notice it!

Here are some suggestions to help you be kinder to yourself.

These little 'noticings' work like magic - I’ve had many people over the years tell me they’re amazed at the feeling of loving energy that comes over them as they pay attention to them. Here are some suggestions to get you started. 


When you brush your teeth, look into the mirror and purposefully say to yourself:

‘I’m brushing my teeth because I know they’re worth looking

after. I’m doing this because I’m being kind to myself and I’m

worth loving.’


After you’ve cooked a meal and you’re eating it, think to yourself:

‘I’m feeding myself this lovely meal because I know I’m worth

looking after—I’m doing this because I’m being kind to myself

and I’m loveable.’


As you go to bed at night, think to yourself:

‘I’m getting some rest now because I know that it’s a good idea

to be healthy and I’m being kind to myself, because that’s how

I want to live my life.’

These suggestions may seem almost too simple—yet so often our heads are filled with thoughts on what’s going wrong and how unhappy we are with ourselves. By focusing on these small acts of self-kindness, we’re tuning into the support of love.. This magical power is always there for us; there’s really no need to worry and fret as we so often tend to do.

And as we keep focusing on these small acts, this loving energy expands more, and more, and more, as new ideas for self-kindness present themselves to us. That's when we start to feel stronger, that's when our relationships improve and our confidence soars.

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