Why You Find It Hard To Be Assertive Blog Series

How Kind People Get Tough

Excerpt from How Kind People Get Tough

Introduction: Why Do We Find It So Hard to be Assertive?

How easy do you find it to set boundaries in your relationships? Do you find it easy to say no? Can you ask for your needs to be met?

The chances are that you already know what you need to say, or do, in order to feel more confident and improve your relationship: maybe with one person in your life, or maybe in a few relationships.

Perhaps you’ve already read books or taken courses to help with building confidence and becoming more self-assured. Maybe you’ve discovered some great tools and techniques, but when you’ve come to apply them, you’ve struggled and given up because it’s been too challenging.

So you’ve continued to let it go when you’ve been disrespected, or you’ve carried on being kind in misguided ways, because even though that inner voice keeps telling you that you deserve better, stepping out from behind your mask and asking for better treatment seems too much of a challenge.

All human-beings struggle with assertiveness.

The fact is that there are good reasons why all human-beings find assertiveness a challenge.

There are certain fundamental blocks that make it difficult for us. Once we identify these blocks, we can tackle them, and move past them. These blocks are:

  • Fear of Rejection from the Tribe
  • Limiting Beliefs 
  • Misplaced Empathy
  • Overwhelming Emotions

Read the following four posts excerpted from the book How Kind People Get Tough.

You'll discover how each of these impacts your ability to speak up and set boundaries, and what you can do to overcome those blocks and be more confident in all your relationships.

Next: Chapter Four -  Rejection From The Tribe

Hi, I’m Marléne Rose Shaw; therapist, coach and self-help author. Thank you for dropping by. I have over 25 years experience in helping people gain confidence, overcome anxiety and create happier relationships. I work with clients internationally via Zoom and also locally in Paphos, Cyprus. To find out more about how I can help, please click the link below.