Do you ever ask yourself:
"Why don't other people treat me as well as I treat them?"
After all, you're so considerate and kind - it can seem like a mystery that they don't treat you in the same way.
The chances are that you're approaching those relationships from a very common limiting belief.
That is, the mistaken idea that you need to please people. It’s so very common. Most of us pick up this keep people happy idea in early childhood because, back then, it was a way of getting love and attention from the people who cared for us.
This way of thinking works very well in childhood. After all if you kept others happy, you got rewarded with attention and validation. So of course it was a good idea. Then.
However, as an adult, the people pleasing approach doesn't help at all - in fact it makes relationships really hard work, and it strips away our confidence.
If your happiness is dependent on other people's acceptance and approval of you; well that puts you in a pretty precarious situation. We all lead busy lives; other people have their own challenges to deal with, and their own goals and plans. You can't always rely on someone to be in a positive frame of mind, or to have the time and space to give you the attention you want from them.
In most cases someone doesn't mean to be unkind, but if they're distracted or busy, they can quite easily end up disregarding you without even realising they're doing so.
If you have the habit of pleasing them, to gain their attention and validation, you make yourself powerless to their current state of mind or situation. That's not fair on you, or on them.
The urge to keep other people happy in order to be liked and to avoid rejection can be very strong indeed, and those people we’re trying to please may well take advantage without even realising they’re doing so. It means that we can end up being used. Odd as it may sound, even the nicest, most well-meaning of people can disregard a ‘pleaser’ in this way.
Do You Have The People Pleasing Belief?
One way of knowing if you have this belief (and many people do) is to look at the following checklist. How many of these seem familiar to you?
The solution is to recognise that you have the People Pleasing belief. Then, to let it go and begin providing the majority of love and validation for yourself. It's like becoming your own best friend.
The majority of us get to this point in life where we recognise there's a people pleasing thing going on, and decide to make changes to become more authentic and confident. I did, and I've helped hundreds of people do the same.
In Out Of Fear Into Love you will learn:
- To identify the four most common limiting beliefs and how they may be impacting on your life
- To use the incredibly powerful Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) to help you let go of those limiting beliefs
- To restore the four types of self-love that those beliefs block
- To work with an important step often overlooked in self-empowerment work—a step which will significantly help you to make the changes you want to achieve in your life
Out Of Fear Into Love: Life doesn’t have to be a struggle also includes easy to read case studies to help you identify with the methods and techniques in the book.