A big part of my work is helping people gain confidence and self-esteem.
One thing I’ve seen is that people often get confused about what confidence is. They define confidence in terms of ‘what they do.’ seeing it as something they’ll attain once they have the great job, the business, wealth, or successful relationships.
Yet while these are important, the roles we become used to will likely alter. Children grow up, people sadly leave us, our working lives change.
Our roles will likely shift as we move through the chapters of our lives, and if we’ve been attaching our sense of worth to those roles we can feel very lost when they diminish.
How Well Do You Know Yourself?
Real confidence however comes from being comfortable in your own skin; self acceptance. That means celebrating your good aspects, acknowledging the parts that could use a little work on, and all the bits in between.
It's about saying ‘I’m okay with me.’
Self-acceptance then comes from getting to know ourselves very well. One great way to do this is to get into the habit of asking ourselves the right questions.
Getting into this habit will help you gain deep awareness of self; it will bring you clarity and the ability to make the wisest of choices. It will carry you through every role, every situation, every relationship, and every chapter of your life.
What Are You feeling Right Now?
One of these powerful questions is ‘What am I feeling right now?’
When you stop to ask yourself this question you tune in to who you really are and whats gong on for you in any given situation. It gives you the opportunity to hit the pause button and decide what you want to do with those feelings.
If you’re aware that you’re feeling anxious you can speak kindly to yourself to soothe your worries.
If you’re aware that you're feeling angry - that's okay, you're allowed - but you can then choose how you’re going to respond to a situation in the most effective manner rather than reacting in unhelpful ways
Asking this insightful question means that your emotions won't have the opportunity to creep up and overwhelm you. It will bring you clarity and the ability to make the wisest of choices. It means that you’ll be much less reactive and far more intentional and that will help you navigate every role, every situation, every relationship, and every chapter of your life.
Then you’ll be super confident; because while those roles and achievements may be important, it's how you think, feel and behave within them that matters.
In my new book 7 Questions Highly Confident People Ask Themselves, I teach these fundamental questions.
7 Questions Highly Confident People Ask Themselves
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