The One Big Difference Between Self-Love and Arrogance

The One Big Difference Between Self-Love and Arrogance

Do you worry that in being self-loving you'll come across as arrogant? 

Like many therapists and coaches across the world, I  advocate that a good step towards a happier life comes from letting go of fear and learning to love oneself.

Self-love truly is the answer to many of life’s problems. However sometimes when I suggest this to my clients, they tell me:

'But wouldn’t loving myself make me conceited and arrogant?'

But there's one big difference between self-love and arrogance.

The big difference between self love and arrogance

It’s a common misconception. But the truth is that arrogance doesn’t come from loving oneself, it comes from not loving oneself.  In actual fact arrogance comes from a place of fear.

When we forget to love ourselves we get into the habit of seeking that love from others instead. We can end up trying so hard to prove ourselves as good enough in order to earn their validation, that we end up looking show-offy and arrogant.

It’s time to stop comparing yourself with others

Of course, we can’t help but make some comparisons between ourselves and others. It’s only human nature to do so.

But if you're often thinking “I’m better than you / you’re better than me” that's not helpful because you're not giving yourself the feeling of being good enough just as you are.

Once you start providing that love and validation for yourself there’s really no need to compare yourself with anyone else.  

So loving yourself can never make you arrogant or conceited because you no longer have anything to prove - just the opposite in fact because it makes you feel worthy and confident.

How to practise self-love:

  • Talk to yourself in reassuring ways.
  • Be kinder to yourself.
  • Accept your failings as well as your achievements
  • Set appropriate boundaries
  • Forgive yourself for mistakes

Practice these self-loving ways and you'll feel more and more confident. Your relationships will be happier, and you'll be successful in all you do.

You certainly won't be being arrogant!

And as always to my lovely community, much kind love 🙂

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