Are you fed up with bickering in your relationship? Do you want to break the habit?
Bickering is always about the need to regain control; where a person feels so hurt or humiliated by some past event they are constantly trying to put the other person down in order to make themselves feel more powerful. This then becomes a cycle of each person feeling put down and desperately trying to regain control.
Bickering is Always About Power Struggles
There may be power struggles; bickering, resentment and anger expressed in all the wrong ways. There may be arguments about who is right and who is wrong, and unjust accusations being passed back and forth.There may also be mind games being played out as people seek attention in order to feel loved and secure.
It's Important then, especially in these current times, to step back and understand the bigger picture, to have some compassion and understand that tension and arguments are very likely coming from an inability to control the bigger things that are happening in life.
Be kind to yourself and others, and accept that the need to control is part of the current situation.
However, this isn't to say you should allow yourself or others to behave in unsuitable ways. It’s really not good to go on in tense angry situations. It chips away at relationships and pushes people further and further apart. That’s not good.
Plus it’s really not that difficult to deal with issues and tensions once you have the right tools. Then you end up closer than ever with a more secure and happier relationship.
The P.E.A.C.E Method For Stopping the Bickering Habit
One simple tip I teach is the P.E.A.C.E method. It’s great for stopping bickering in its tracks!
I go into detail with videos and worksheets etc in my course:
Restore The Peace - Let Go Of Anger Resentment and Bickering
Here's the gist of it:
P is for PAUSE ( Reflect on whether you really want to feel this tension )
E is for ECHO ( Notice the actual thing you’re arguing about)
A is for Ask (Ask yourself why it's so important to win)
C is for Consider (Consider the bigger picture of the relationship)
E is for Ebb ( See the issue ebbing and flowing)
Use this simple method to help you begin to alleviate the tension you may be feeling at the moment.
If you want to find out more take a look at Restore The Peace - Let Go Of Anger Resentment and Bickering. I developed it to help with any type of relationship; with a partner, a friend, a family member - the principles are the same.
In the course I teach:
Understanding what anger really is and the emotions behind it.
How to recognise and stop anger before it turns to rage
How to use the P.E.A.C.E method to break the bickering habit
Bickering Red Flag phrases and how to make your point in ways that work
Where resentment really begins, why it forms and how to break the pattern.
There’s also an Anger Animal Quiz - and a bonus chapter from my book How Kind People Get Tough on how to express anger in healthier ways.
The course is made up of short videos, worksheets and templates. It’s not too long and can be taken at your own pace.
Don't go on being unhappy in an angry relationship. Take a look at this course and start changing your relationship and your life today