How To Be Kinder To Yourself

One thing I always encourage in my clients is to be kinder to themselves. When we treat ourselves with kindness and acceptance we make life much easier for ourselves.

Self-kindness makes life much easier because it means we don’t mentally beat ourselves up over every little-perceived mistake, or drive ourselves into burnout through proving and pleasing, or devalue ourselves by putting up with poor treatment from others.

Being kind to ourselves means we feel more confident, calmer, and more fulfilled in life. It means we have happier relationships and are more successful.

Are You Kind To Yourself As Well As others?

However, it’s so often the case that when we think about kindness, we think in terms of how kind we are towards others. We forget that it's just as important to be kind to ourselves.

As a therapist, I've found that whenever I ask someone, "Are you kind?" They most often say, "Yes, of course!"

I've also found that when I follow that with,

And are you kind to yourself?..... most people have to pause for a moment to think about it.

Quite often, their response is that they're not so sure. What does self-kindness look like - they wonder? How would they do that - they ask me?

Why you may find it hard to be kind to yourself

The problem is that quite often we’ve picked up limiting beliefs, often many years before, in our childhood. Like many, you may have a belief such as "I have to prove myself", which means you have a habit of being hard on yourself, going out of your way to earn approval from others in order to be accepted and liked.

One Way To Be Kinder To Yourself

There are lots of ways, big and small, that you can practice being kinder to yourself. One easy way is to be more aware of what you're absorbing from the media.

Often, we are unaware of the impact of media on our subconscious, as it blends into the background of our lives. However, if you constantly expose yourself to media and entertainment that is violent, depressing, or stress-inducing, your subconscious will operate from that perspective, influencing how you perceive the world around you.

On the other hand, deliberately exposing your mind to media that offers messages of calmness, positivity, happiness, and reassurance can significantly contribute to your self-kindness.