Life Always Seems To Be A Struggle? Here’s How To Break The Cycle
If life often feels like one big struggle, you’re not alone. Many of my new clients tell me they find life difficult. It seems as soon as they resolve one issue, something else pops up. Maybe in their relationships or in their working life. Do you relate?
I can share that this was me too, once upon a time. Back then I’d look at people who seemed to be having a great life and I'd ask myself, 'Why is it so easy for them, and not me?'
Then one day it dawned on me. They expected life to be easier, and so it was. It was that simple! Their minds were focused on noticing positive opportunities and outcomes, instead of expecting problems.
Later, when I trained as a therapist, I came to understand just how much our expectations are shaped in childhood. The experiences we have then influence what we believe, and how we think and feel in our adult life.
Many of us have had experiences in childhood that led us to believe that life had to be a battle - a struggle with some trauma, a loss, or challenges in the family. Because of this we see the world this way and so often don't even see the easier path that's right there in front of us. We’re so used to the idea that life is all about managing problems and proving we can cope.
And because we keep taking the harder path - well that means life is harder. Which of course seems to confirm the idea that life is a struggle.
If you often ask, 'Why is my life such a struggle?'
If you catch yourself asking, 'Why is my life such a struggle?', It's likely that you had experiences in your childhood that led you to think that you had to be strong and cope, and this pattern has continued on.
The little child you once were is still there in your subconscious waiting to hear from you, they need your reassurance and love. So to break the cycle of life being a struggle, the first thing to do is soothe your little child within. Speak to them in your thoughts, or even out loud.
Reassure them with words such as:
Life has moved on.
You don’t have to be extra strong anymore.
There’s nothing to prove. You are safe. You are loved.
I recommend you do this every day.
By tuning in to your subconscious in this way and passing on this message to your inner child, you'll allow them to let go of their fears and the belief that life is hard - and the more confident adult part of you will be able to take the lead and approach life in easier ways. And then - life will be easier.
Small steps lead to big changes
If lately you’ve been feeling that there’s more to life than just reacting to whatever comes your way; that you’re ready to live for you — to choose how you want to experience your own life, then you’re in the right place.
As a therapist with over 30 years experience helping people grow in confidence and create great relationships, I know that there comes a time when we start to listen to the quiet inner voice telling us that there's more to life.
That’s why I created the Find Courage To Be You community. It’s free to join.
If you’d like tips and strategies on feeling more empowered in your life and relationships let me know where to send them.
