How to Say No to Your Adult Child Without Feeling Guilty

Is your relationship with your adult child fraught with tension? 

Do you find yourselves stuck in a constant push-pull? They back off, wanting space, but then keep coming back needing your help. While you give in out of guilt, but then resent having to sacrifice your time, energy, even money.

Many parents tell me they find themselves caught in this cycle between feeling responsible for their grown-up child's happiness, yet wanting to set better boundaries.

Typical ways parents give in to their adult child

Parents tell me:

• I give them money because I don't like seeing them struggling. I tell myself I'll bail them out this one last time .
• I'm constantly at the end of the phone, being there to listen to their problems when really I'm tired and I need more time for myself.
• Much as I love spending time with my grandkids, it seems like I'm always being expected to be on call, dropping everything to babysit.

If these sorts of situations are familiar you may find yourself thinking: Am I being mean if I say no? Surely I should be able to have time for my own needs, now that they're grown up. But then again ...

And maybe, like many parents, you lie awake at night going over conversations you've had with your son, or daughter, wondering if you could have said or done something different. You feel stuck and don't know how to change things.

If this is where you're at right now, let me reassure you that it's perfectly normal - the parent to adult-child relationship can often be complex. For many years you've been responsible for their happiness, so it's only natural that things become complicated and confusing as they become a different person.

But now it's time to make the transition into having a more equally balanced adult-adult type of relationship with them.

How to have a better relationship with your adult child.

The answer lies in getting good at setting boundaries and communicating them clearly—without that pang of guilt and anxiety every time you say no.

That's why I created the workshop:From Guilt and Rescuing to a More Balanced Relationship. This 2-hour workshop is specifically for parents of adult children who want to have a happier, stress-free relationship, where they can be caring and supportive without sacrificing their own needs. 

In the workshop, you'll learn how to find balance between supporting your adult child and setting clear boundaries. I'll teach you specific communications strategies so that you can say no without guilt and worry - and be heard and valued.

You’ll get to meet other parents who are having the same struggles and challenges as yourself, hear their stories and share your thoughts.

From Guilt and Rescuing to a More Balanced Relationship.

By the end of the workshop you’ll have the tools and guidance you need to help you make the transition from the fraught push-pull relationship you've been caught up in, to one that is more adult-to-adult. So that you and your adult child can move forward, being much calmer, happier and more empowered.

Remember, it's completely natural to find this relationship difficult at times. After all, they've been your child for a long time. But now it's time to shift from your old parent role to a new one; one that helps them grow into independence and responsibility, while giving you back your own time and space. Take the first step by getting on the waiting list