One Powerful Tip on Learning To Say No

Do you sometimes keep others happy, just for the sake of a quiet life?

We all wear the people-pleasing mask sometimes. Even though we may be feeling undervalued or hurt, we don’t want to rock the boat because we want to be liked and approved of.

But you know if you’re like most people; even though it may seem easier to let things go sometimes, you’ll have that niggling voice that whispers in your heart, telling you that you’re not being true to yourself.

In order to gain confidence, we need to be authentic; we need to step out of our comfort zone and give people the message:

“This is me. I am respecting myself and I’d like you to respect me too”

But that can feel so risky. The trick is to have some good assertiveness strategies to help you: such as confidence techniques, communications skills, understanding the dynamics of relationships and techniques to help deal with overwhelming emotions.

I share many of these in my book: How Kind People Get Tough

One Powerful Tip on Learning To Say ‘No’

Here’s one super quick tip from the How to Say ‘No’ Chapter in How Kind People Get Tough. If you find it hard to say ‘no’ in a particular situation or with a particular person, start practising saying ‘no’ in other less challenging situations. Of course, I’m not suggesting you stubbornly say ‘no’ to every little request – but consider those times when you automatically say ‘yes’ to where you could consider saying ’no’. For example,

‘Do you want coffee? ‘No, I think I’ll have tea.’

'Do you want to watch this movie?' 'No, I'd rather watch the other one.'

This way your subconscious will begin to get used to the idea that saying ‘no’ is an okay and normal word to use. Over time you’ll gradually find it easier to say ‘no’ in those more difficult circumstances. Like many of the techniques that I teach my clients and readers, it's simple yet it’s very effective.